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This thing is still here!

Checking e-mail, I found a notification from Livejourjal that someone had 'liked' my entry from seven years ago.  So I found I could still logon and here I am.

I've actually thought of looking this up again, since I miss the longer-format writing and the message board style replies.

Writing beckons me to visit again

Lately my office has been my big project.  Due to various life circumstances, I have decided to take the strategic vantage point of living  within more modest means than is typical for me, not that I live lavishly by any means in general. This has given me ample motivation to examine what is in my life, what I want in my life, with the expectation that priorities and dreams should determine what stuff I keep and what I toss.  This has been a most exhilarating purge of garage sale knick nacks and various clutter which makes me feel more vibrant and free with each curbside pile carted away by the city's sanitation department.  The important things I'm sure I want to keep of creative nature, which is my books and various collections of intellectual dork variety, are being harbored at my office and used for eccentric decoration.

The developent of  "My Office" in my work and life has given me cause for thought.  Upon first entering my office for the first time, I said, half joking, "Now that I have an office, does it make me a real grown up?" to my then-boyfriend/mentor.  The rights of passage of youth which most experience were denied to me.  In an effort to thwart encroaching worldly influence on my younger self, my mother decided to homeschool (sequester) me, and I missed all the usual jr. high and high school marks of oncoming adulthood.  So, my first office seemed something at which to grasp to say that I, indeed, had joined the ranks of those people who move and shake society; I had become a small business owner.  

Truth be told, however, this transition fizzled into a realization that renting a space in a building does not mean I have passed through any kind of real passage to adulthood, it was just a better place to work from.  Having one's own "office" sounds cool to lots of people, if I had meetings of exciting business acquisition variety I could shake a new contact's hand and say "Come have coffee at my office, and we'll brainstorm on that further," but no, while it is a better place from which to massage my clients, it's just my hodgepodge collection of secondhand furniture, art, messy collection of officy paper stuff I don't get done very well, and a place for my computer to sit.  My newer space now has three distinct rooms, so more room for more books, plants, and dust catchers.  My OCD furniture moving means that there is an ever changing assortment of its contents and frequent changeovers from office to home.  The deluge of papers, mail, and deleterious office material resist every attempt I've made to organize, and this space is reserved for the secretary I am going to hire as soon as I can afford to pay her (or him).  

When I have an employee will that make me a real grown-up? Maybe not, but it might make me more organized and effective.

Life goes on...

So ... school is a challenge what with all the life stuff going on, but I will survive.  Starting to get tired of some of the same tedious conversations taking place over video conference (since half the class is at another campus).  I'm really starting to think all the online and video classes do is enable schools to charge just as much for less actual educational value, but our educational system is a racket anyway, especially the textbook end of things.

Cooler bigger office is nice, but quickly becoming cluttered.  I can also work later since the new office has room for the kids to hang out and watch tv and play games while I'm massaging people.  My biz facebook page: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Relief-by-Rachel/197279523960

Clutter problem can be solved with garage sale, which will help me make bills this month since my ex lost his job (so no child support or insurance for kids), so I'm getting going on the spring cleaning and did a good trash purge of the garage this weekend.

I miss livejournal time...

I miss livejournal ... I miss writing at length about my thoughts and not just a blurb on facebook.  I miss the anonymity of friends who don't know me in real life who can listen to me talk about my real life.  I miss time to escape into a network of friends with whom I share ideas, desires, fictional exploits and so on.

My life is a whirl of harried activity, work, errands, kids and their activities, church and related activities, and constant desire to regain what I once did not realize was leisure.  At the same time, I am blessed beyond measure, my energy generally matches what I need to accomplish what is in front of me, and I got approved for a pell grant and am enrolled for school full time.  

There are other business plans which are ongoing and forthcoming and in progress.  

I'm making no promises about getting back into keeping up with things, but I wish I could... and there's always a chance I will reestablish habits I miss.

Is this my life?

Last night I stayed up late watching a few episodes of "The Riches" ... a story of some modern-day gypsies conning their way into the lives of a few deceased upper class "buffers" who had been moving their lives on to a new location.  The non-sequitor moments are hilarious and produced some introspection regarding the out-of-placeness I've felt in my life at times, as if what I'm living isn't me, is too good for me, and yet when I examine it, I'm not conning anyone, so why do I feel that way sometimes?  The people I have day-to-day interactions with aren't those I would have thought to socalize with on an equal level four or six years ago ... they would have been out of my league, and I would have thought them to be superficial and snobbish. 

In running a solo business, I tend to find comraderie among other small business owners ... the people I once believed to be well off I now know are often no different from myself, yet it's strange, because I never thought that would be me.  I look around my duplex and see a welath of things which I've found at garage sales, that have been given to me by friends, all in a mismatched sort of chic.  Now people mistake me for being well-off, and I find the comraderie among other small business owners is knowing we're all broke, we're all a step away from losing it all, but we keep on nevertheless, because its less scary an option than being 'an employee' with the threat of being laid off.

Looking ahead to the coming year is weird ... I just signed a two year lease on my office, I'm in a relationship that may actually be going somewhere (slowly, let's not rush anything please!), and the few things I had an invite to tonight fell through, so me and kids are home playing Wii, and I think perhaps bringing in the new year baking something with the kids would be a good thing.

Civil War Reenactment

A dear friend of mine enjoys shooting cannons occasionally ... and this weekend I went to a local event with my daughter.

My dear friend is the lefmost in uniform, and Senator Brian Birdwell is in the black vest and blue shirt, on his way to pull the lanyard to shoot the canon

Madeline, and K.R.Wood's band ... her first time 'on stage'

I've had a very long day today ... made good $, but am very tired now and ordered pizza and wings because all I wanted when I got home was to shower.  Still waiting on delivery and regretting not cooking now.

I'm going to figure out how to upload some awesome video I got too, of firing canons, and Madeline singing.
It's living room rearranging time!  I've been in my newer place since July, and somehow have already amassed a great deal of stuff ... and I've been decluttering, but gifts of assorted furniture (much appreciated) and a few garage sale finds, and not enough bookshelves for books have taken their toll on the zen of my living room.

Computer dissemblance soon to come, maybe... bookshelf does need to move though.  *sigh*

Old Friends...

Hi ... I've had livejournals as: asatru_mom, dora_long, and one or two others I don't recall at this moment.  In the process of a great deal of life change, and not having enough time for writing (being a single mom, running a business, life stuff), I went so long without logging onto livejournal that I forgot my passwords.  So, I have a new journal.

I don't know that I will write.  The odds of me writing fanfic again are rare. 

I miss my fandom friends though, and would like to touch base and work on keeping up.

Go go go go go go

Life is a constant go go go ... and I've missed the time I used to spend writing, blogging, keeping up with fandom and writing friends.  Life has changed so much in the years since I did that; goals which were once so very important have fallen aside as more immediate concerns have been in the forefront, and have led into new goals and needs.

School and the idea of a PhD being the pinnacle of achievement has been replaced with business expansion and the need for an employee or three, the need for larger office space, the need to collect child support, the need to work to pay bills ... perhaps one day school will again be a large part of my life, but for now business needs make a degree irrelevant. 

Even with the hectic activity, the money juggling, I'm blessed beyond measure with friends, things which have been given to me, opportunities which have come to me, and peace in the storm.  God is good.